Channel surfing on a Sunday Morning, I came across a car race. But the announcer wasn't rattling on in a Southern dialect. And...did that car just make a right turn? THAT'S NOT AN OVAL!! This is actually interesting. Did he just say "gentlemen's agreement" in BBC English?? This is Formula One! I don't feel my IQ slipping or the desire to drink Busch Lite at 10:30 on a Sunday morning. There is actually vocabulary and complex analysis of pit stops, tire wear, turns, drafting, how to run a straight-away and the corners. All of this, and only one guy with the American Newscaster pronunciation. The map of the course looks like a side view of Guy Smiley from Sesame Street if he'd been hit in the forehead with a brick.
Even the commercials are smarter. Instead of Ford and Chevy telling me who's truck can haul more while driving a brand new pick up over boulders and other elements of terrain where no intelligent person would really ever drive, I just watched a Mercedes-Benz commercial talking about sensors and safety.
Wait, did he just say this guy, Hamilton, is racing in a Ferrari? Why is this sport(of sorts) not more popular in the U.S.? Why do we not hear about Formula One racers and the crisp British dialects instead of Nascar and the Southern drawl? There is deeper strategy, fewer laps with faster cars...frickin Ferraris, FERARRIS! That car just topped out at 300 mph on the straightaway before slowing to a mere 186 for the hairpin, yeah, 186 mph through a hairpin turn.
They've just started the final lap and there have only been five drivers put out of the race. These drivers are smarter, better, and faster than Nascar, or even Indy car drivers in the states. Instead of racing in a mind-numbing oval for hundreds of laps, the course is challenging and only 52 laps. And there isn't anyone simply known as "JUNE-yer." Seriously, hearing that word over and over and over watching other races makes the word itself sound stupid.
The lead car is holding and hoping he has enough fuel and tires for the final lap. The battle for fourth place was just decided by .24 of a second. The two cars touched coming out of the final corner, tires briefly rubbing as one car swerved wide and came back in to finish just behind Hamilton for fourth...I was just paying attention to strategy and technique for FOURTH place. I wasn't even hoping for a wreck. The trophy was just awarded by Prince Harry. Prince Harry...of England! Who awards the trophy for Nascar? Anyone? I have no idea either, probably not royalty.
The announcers talked about the "race incident" (the tire touch in the final turn) as the two drivers waved civilly to each other acknowledging accident. In American car racing, the tire touch probably would have led to a fist fight in winner's circle. If I wanted to see fist-fights, I'd watch boxing, UFC, or hockey. I like my sports (and auto racing) for whichever sport I am tuning into watch. The Battle at the Palace (NBA), bench clearing brawls and bean balls (MLB), cheap head-shots and chop blocks (NFL) have no place in the sport. I do make the exception for the NHL, with a position informally called "enforcer" the violence and fighting in the game is actually strategic and a part of the action.
With the strategy, planning, analysis, and sportscasters who don't make me want to drool into beers that I don't like to drink, I'm definitely tuning in July 24th at 9am for the next Formula 1 Grand Prix.
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