Okay, so maybe that isn't really a "This Just In" type of news. Really, 3 of 3 big American sports are run by greedy bastards. I am, of course, writing about the NBA and NFL lockouts. Yay, baseball still being played. Hockey is Canadian, as is evidenced in their work stoppage a couple of years ago and Americans didn't really notice.
I wonder if Nascar will have a work stoppage and life in the South will explode into drunken rampages. Better yet, follow the example of the 94-95 baseball strike and get replacement drivers! How awesome would that be? Those of us who can't name more than three current Nascar drivers only tune in for the crashes, anyway.
With replacement drivers, half of every race would be run under Yellow. We'd watch one lap run, see the wreck, then flip the channel to something that doesn't make us drool into our Busch Lite (or something that doesn't make us drink Busch Lite) long enough for the race to run under caution, then switch back for the next green flag and the next crash. We wouldn't have photo finishes or worry about the race running too long. If there are 43 drivers in every race, then the winner would be the guy who could avoid 42 crashes at the most. If a couple of crashes took out more than one car, then the winner would have even less to avoid. If they could get some of the glorious multi-car pileups, then the entire race might be shortened to the length of your average sitcom. The downside to this would be the next two and a half hours being filled with Guthy-Rinker infomercials for The Dean Martin Show on DVD. I think I'd rather watch the infomercials anyway.
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