Linkage in Sports: Wins and Gods

Athletes thank God when they win.  Some blame God over twitter when they don't (Buffalo Bills receiver Stevie Johnson here last year).  Bob Costas and sportswriters tackle the thought from time to time and wonder if God really has anything to do with sports.  A recent example is a look at Tim Tebow's faith by Charles R. Pierce here.  Is God responsible for Tebow's success in the NFL this year?  Is God responsible for Tebow's 6 game win streak that was broken Sunday by the New England Patriots? (More on them later).  Could it maybe have been that they played a shaky Raider team playing with a new starting quarterback the first week?  Could it maybe have been that they played an injury-riddled, struggling Chiefs team the second week?  Could it maybe have been that they played a Jets team that is infamous for inconsistency the third week?  Could it maybe have been that they played a San Diego team mired in one of their worst slumps with the current coach (Norv "I'm not quite sure what's going on" Turner) and quarterback (Philip "Cry me a" Rivers) in the fourth week?  Could it maybe have been that they played a Minnesota team with two wins in the fifth week?  Could it maybe have been that they played a Bears team without a starting quarterback or running back, with a quarterback who could play for Kansas City, he has been so futile, in the sixth week?

Then the Patriots came to town.  Tebow finally faced a coach who knows what he is doing.  Look at the six coaches Tebow has faced; Hue Jackson, a rookie coach, Todd Haley, who is now unemployed; a bragging blabbermouth in Rex Ryan who routinely blames his quarterback for Ryan's bad calls; Turner; Leslie Frazier (the team record speaks for itself); and Lovie Smith.  Out of all of those coaches, I would only take Smith, who has coached in a Super Bowl (he lost to Peyton Manning).

But now, Tebow and coach John Fox faced the master, Bill Belichick.  Even though the Patriots defense is one of the league worst, surprising for a Belichick team, they held the Denver Tebows to 23 points.  To be fair, 23 points would have been enough to beat 4 of the 6 teams of suck that the Tebows had beaten the previous six weeks.  But the Patriots scored 41 against the real reason the Tebows had won those games--the Tefense.  The Denver defense kept games close even though the Tebow offense really just kind of sucked for three quarters in every game, and then came from behind on weird runs against tired defenses.  Basically the Denver Tebows used high school tactics (run-run-run-run-long bomb...run-run-run long bomb) until the defense was tired in the fourth quarter.  With a good defensive team like Denver has, they could apply this tactic.  But against a Belichick offense that picks apart defenses? Not so much.

Belichick's team also figured out the way around the Tebow offense.  Tebow scrambles; he is a very mobile quarterback.  When he scrambles, teams react to try to hit him for a loss.  When they do, they leave their receiver open for Tebow to hit with a short pass right over the defensive back-now-pass rusher.  The Patriots figured out that if they let Tebow run until he crosses the line of scrimmage, they can then take free runs at him because he can no longer pass.  Tebow would scramble and the db's wouldn't react.  He would cross the line of scrimmage and then the linebackers and db's would collapse.  This is what kept Tebow from being fully effective.  An offense that was running on all cylinders came into Denver made it so that Tebow couldn't just run; he had to pass in order to try to catch up.

The Patriots exposed the Denver Tebows.  They showed the weakness of the team.  They didn't thwart the plans of a higher deity that prefers missionaries' sons over male models who happen to play QB.  They didn't enter into some sort of cosmic theological contest for all of our souls.  They played a football game.

That brings me back to the Patriots.  Remember when they won the first Super Bowl after 9/11?  When they were the good guys?  They were the red-white-and-blue team who came back from a national tragedy and won a championship.  Then came spygate in their taping the Jets sideline.  Suddenly Belichick and the Patriots are the bad guys.  They are still red-white-and-blue.  They are still called the Patriots.

In 2007, the Patriots were the first team since the '72 Dolphins to go undefeated through the regular season.  The way that they did so was one of that is commonly associated with the villain teams in 80s sports movies.  They were a juggernaut that ran up the score and threw long bombs when the game was already out of reach.  Their starters would play the whole game, even when they were up by 3 or more touchdowns.

The Patriots went from the patriotic heroes who pulled themselves up after the tragedy of a nation to the cocky champions that would often be seen as bullies. They lost the Super Bowl, their only loss that season.

Did they anger God with their cockiness and cheating?  Is that why they lost?  Did God turn his back on them?  Most of the football fans outside New England did.  One way of looking at religion is that it is an extension of the culture.  The people drive what the deity is doing.  The ancient Greeks conquered the people who had previously worshiped the beings we now know as the titans.  In Greek mythology, the Greek gods defeated the titans.  The general populace turned against the Patriots.  Since we turned against them, we felt like they were the bad guys.  Since they were the bad guys, God would also be against them.  They lost and we felt vindicated.  We felt like God had spoken and punished the evildoers.

Nearly four years later the Patriots with the same core, same QB, same star receiver, many members of the same defense, and, most importantly, the same coach, came into God fearing Denver.  They played the God fearing Denver Tebows.  They beat the Denver Tebows by more than double the Tebows' score.  If God is involved in football, or any sport, games, then he is fickle and easily angered.  What did Tebow do to anger God?  Is it the rumors that he is dating a divorcee in Lindsey Vonn?  Does God read the tabloids?  I would think those were well within the domain of Lucifer.  Right in between public officials and bankers.

Does the Patriots win over the God fearing Tebows have deeper religious implications?  Are we really supposed to be vain, wrathful, disdainful of others, and unapologetic when we are caught cheating?  Are all of those better than allegedly dating a recent divorcee (who denies she is dating Tebow)?

Or does God have better things to do than worry about the morality of football players?  Looking at the current state of the image of the pro football player, I'd say he'd have a lot to worry about.  With the exception of Tebow.

A Sad Week in the Football Mind

It has not been a good week in my football mind. Of course, I am talking about the Penn State scandal. I admired JoePa. As a coach, he had a reputation for holding is players to academic standards as well as moral standards. Under Joe Paterno, Penn State wasn't just a football factory that concentrated solely on the production of football players and championships.

After an astounding 46 years of head coaching, after an astounding 62 years with the same program, after two national championships and five undefeated teams, JoePa was fired.

Now, we're left wondering how much of that reputation was real, if his "Grand Experiment" was really just a sham. This isn't JoePa's first scandal. This wasn't the first time the board of regents had called for his resignation. In 2008 he faced a scandal again dating back years. From 2002 to the time of the scandal, 2008, 46 football players faced 163 criminal charges. It appeared that Paterno's "Grand Experiment" didn't include a moral/criminal clause, only focusing on academics and athletics.

I am torn at the Sandusky scandal. The grad assistant told Paterno and Paterno told the Athletic Director and the President of the University. No one did anything. It was a black eye on the Penn State. Now, it is a whole fist fight. If someone, any one of those four people had gone to the police at the time, this could have been avoided. The kicker? Sandusky wasn't even a member of the coaching staff or employed at all at the university when the grad assistant allegedly witnessed the abuse. Even after that, Sandusky was still given access to PSU facilities.

No. One. Did. Anything.

Now everyone who could have done something years ago has either been fired in disgrace or is on leave after death threats (the former grad assistant, now one of the Nittany Lions coaches). Sandusky is out on bail (and lives next door to an elementary school), and facing charges on the sexual abuse.

Not surprisingly, and barely worth noting in comparison to what is happening off the field, Penn State lost Saturday to a lower ranked opponent.

In depressing news on the field (again which pales in comparison to the above), The Kansas City Chiefs suck.

Even when this team is good (13-3 a few years ago) they suck. Whenever they have a season like their 13-3 seasons, I have the feeling that they won't win against any contenders. Looking at even last season, they didn't face any terribly challenging teams, given that the AFC West is not exactly a strong division. Sometimes last season, I would have wondered how the teams in the division would stand against the SEC. I'd almost take LSU against these guys.

The reason the Chiefs suck this time around? Gregg Easterbrook of ESPN's Page 2 would call it declining football IQ. Going late into the game, Chiefs are down by 10 against the Broncos. Four minutes left in the contest, definitely four down situations. The Chiefs do go for it on fourth down, that's not the stupid part.  The stupid part is that Matt Cassell, who the Chiefs, for some reason unbeknownst to many Chiefs fans, is the Chiefs QB of the future, has less than 100 yards. It is the fourth quarter of the contest and your QB of the future has 93 yards passing. Against Denver. Great Lou Holtz's Not Dead Yet Ghost! Kansas City goes four and out. Pass attempt incomplete. Run for 7 yards. Pass attempt incomplete. It is fourth and 3. There are four minutes left in the game. You're quarterback is sucking more than usual. Run. The. Ball. Your running game has been carrying your sorry team throughout the contest. Run. The. Ball. Cassell lines up in a shotgun. I start crying in my beer. Hey, it wasn't an incompletion. Cassell gets sacked for a five yard loss.

How much does Todd Haley make?  I will take a fraction of it to coach this team. It is fairly obvious Charlie Weis was the offensive genius behind last year's team. Weis called the plays. Weis made Cassell tolerable.

Weis announced he was leaving for a college head coaching job. The Cheifs still had two games to play last year. The final game of the season and one playoff game. They lost both. They have been even less than impressive on offense than they were last year. Last year they had a great running attack. Cassell, even though the Chiefs were winning, still sucked. They ranked 30th out of 32 teams in passing. Their running attack? 1st. Granted, this year Jamaal Charles, last year's work horse, is injured. But Battle has been showing flashes of above-average-ness.

After Weis announced his eventual departure, Kansas City again choked in the playoffs. Do you know how long it has been since the Chiefs have won a playoff game? I was in high school. Bill Clinton was not yet president, hadn't even had the election. George H. W. Bush was the President of these United States. The last quarterback to win a playoff game for Kansas City? Joe Friggin Montana! Have you seen his latest commercials? Do you know how old Montana is?? The answer to the trivia question is December 199-stinking-3.

The Chiefs have been famous at shackling themselves with mediocre draft picks or not keeping successes (see Jared Allen, who is a sack machine for the Vikings now). Oh, look, Allen just sacked Aaron Rodgers on Monday Night Football to jump into the NFL lead for sacks this season. Hi, Jared! I remember when you wore red and led the league in sacks, too! Hi!

What goes through the Kansas City powers that be on draft days? Take the first round this year. Hmmm, we have a mediocre QB and a GREAT wide receiver. We have an AWESOME running back. Our defense has been suspect, but is improving. Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh---uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. LET'S DRAFT A RECEIVER herp-de-derp!

Yaaaaay, now we have two receivers the quarterback can't hit!

It was announced today that Cassell may be out for the season with a "significant" throwing hand injury. That explains the late game suckitude. Herp-de-Let's Have Our Sucky Injured Quarterback Throw on Fourth Down-FRIGGIN-DERP!!

I'm hoping and praying that the pundits that be (including ESPN's Mel Kiper) are right about Ricky Stanzi. I'm hoping he's the next coming of Kurt Warner and Pretty Boy Brady. I'm hoping he gets in and the Cheifs take off and Cassell gets traded for Bobby Boucher (see: Waterboy).

Here's the problem (yeah, another one). The Chiefs haven't given Stanzi any snaps in practice all year. They haven't had him even think about taking a snap all year. Journeyman Tyler Palko will be the starter next Monday night against New England.

Herp-de-derp.

There's Something About Game 6's

One of Reggie Jackson's Three Game 6 Homers

Look at all the famous Game 6's. Not just in the World Series, but in any seven game series. 5 of the 6 Jordan-era Bulls championships were won in Game 6 (MJ's first championship over the Lakers was in 5). Reggie Jackson's three home run performance in 1977, Game 6. The Buckner game, Game 6. The Bartman game, Game 6. Curt Shillings ALCS Bloody Sock Game, Game 6. Tonight's extra innings heart attack extravaganza, Game 6.

Poor Bill

One of the causes of all this excitement in Game 6s is that one team is playing to win the whole tomato. One team is playing to keep their season alive and force a game seven. Reggie Jackson's three homer Game 6? Championship. Buckner, Bartman, the Bloody Sock, and tonight? Forcing a Game 7.

Tonight's heart attack extravaganza is special. It is special because it was eleven friggin innings. It is special because it took the better part of five hours. It is special because it is one of the few games I've spent cheering with a band of friends in the pool hall across the street. Normally I watch my big games at home with maybe my fiancee.

As a Yankees fan, I will forever hate this sock.

This one was different. Four tables at the bar were cheering for St. Louis. One person, at our table no less, was cheering for Texas. I am generally opposed to just about anything that comes from Texas. My fiancee has family in St. Louis. Tony La Russa is my second favorite manager behind Joe Torre. La Russa looked old tonight. He looked old explaining what the hell happened in game 5. But he looked older as his team hung 3 errors on the board tonight. I imagine I look a little old after those three errors, and I was just watching in a pool hall.

St. Louis had three errors. Texas had two. St. Louis became the first team in MLB history to score runs in the eighth, ninth, tenth, and eleventh innings of a World Series game. They were barely fending off Texas with scores in the eighth, ninth, and tenth, playing catch up as the Rangers continued to jump ahead. Finally, in the bottom of the eleventh, David Freese hit a home run to straightaway deep center. Before the ball had cleared the fence, fans were clamoring over the railing to get into the grass for the ball. Everyone but the Ranger Girl at our table (who is really a San Francisco fan, go fig) is screaming, clapping and high-fiving.

Just at our table alone, this game took its toll. The Sports Fiancee, who is now fast asleep, felt like her spine was being wrung out. She kept holding her pink scarf over her mouth and nose. She'd sniff for a bit, almost praying to the Baseball Gods. Then would rock back and forth like Rainman. it turns out she wasn't going through some ritual for the Cardinals to win. She had to pee so badly, but couldn't stand to leave the game long enough to get to the bathroom. She and Ranger Girl both had to be cajoled during a Ranger pitching change in the 9th to finally go. I have never seen two women get into the bathroom and back so quickly.

The only other guy at our table and I decided to do tequila shots around the 7th inning. Just as we got our shots, Beltre hit his home run. We joked about needing the alcohol to make it through that and downed the Tarantula. We ordered another shot just in time to see Cruz hit his home run. We decided, in perfectly logical fashion, that our shots were causing the Rangers to hit home runs and stopped drinking.

At five different times during the night someone at our table was laughing so hard they were either crying, curled up in the fetal position in their chair, or trying not to wet themselves.

At five different times during the night, we vocalized our disgust with the errors in something that could never be classified as intelligent language, let alone English.

Have you ridden the S.L.U.T.?

At at least five different times during the night we joked with the table in front of us about the Seattle Transit System deciding to name one of their light rail systems the South Lake Union Trolley and that name actually getting approved by the mayor's office.

This was followed by at least five different references to "Riding the S.L.U.T."

We laughed, we cringed, we screamed ourselves hoarse. Baseball can do this. Other sports can't. Basketball is too fast paced. There isn't time for the conversations there are in baseball. The Sports Fiancee was able to look at an advertisement on the wall and name all 32 NFL teams during the game. Football is slower, but there is still enough going on that you can't keep conversations going during a game.

One of the main complaint about baseball is that the games are so slow--that there isn't enough action. Baseball, especially baseball in the World Series, is a game of tension. I kept reaching over to massage the Sports Fiancee's back,  knowing she was in agony watching her team drop routine flies like the Bad News Bears. She was in even more agony after the platter of fried food, the Irish Coffee, and however many glasses of water, even before St. Louis had to claw back in the eighth, and ninth, and tenth innings. Baseball builds that tension. The game is slow, but so is the build up to a really good horror movie. Suddenly, a fly ball that has a chance to be a home run is flying toward the outfield. You find yourself holding your breath. You are clenching your fists. You are clenching your bladder because you drank too many Sam Adams during the early innings. The ball is caught and you can relax...except your bladder. Then the next hitter comes up and it starts all over again. Baseball is an emotional roller coaster wrapped into a sport. Enjoying it with a group of friends makes it all the more enjoyable. Making it a do or die for one team at game six makes the roller coaster that much more of a wild ride.

What baseball fan doesn't dream of this?

On to Game 7.

The Ethics of Sucking for a Shot at a Franchise Player

This is the year of Suck for Luck. It all started last year when Stanford junior QB Andrew Luck, who was in the heart of the Heisman race late in the season, decided to return to school for his senior year.  Now, Andrew Luck has the college play ability and reputation of possibly being the best QB heading to the NFL since Peyton Manning. This guy could be more Manning than Manning (Peyton than Eli).

As soon as Luck decided to go back to Stanford for his senior season, fan bases for bad NFL teams started hoping for L's more than W's. Look what happened to the Colts from 97 to 98 and then into the Manning Era. In 1997, the Indianapolis Cots finished with a 3-13 record, the worst in the NFL. This ensured them the first pick in the draft. Two college QB's were vying for the honor at the time, Manning, and Ryan Leaf. Looking back, now the Manning/Leaf debate seems as stupid as Coca-Cola Classic/New Coke. The Colts took Manning. Their next season, 1998, they also finished 3-13. However, with another first pick in the draft, the Colts took RB Edgerrin James. Now that the young QB, Manning, had an offense that wasn't one dimensional, the Colts took off. They finished the 1999 season 13-3 with a first round bye in the playoffs. They didn't look back, making the playoffs every year until now, where they sit 0-7. For those of you living under rocks (at least in the sports world), Manning had two off-season surgeries and has not played. It doesn't look like he will play this season, possibly in his career, depending on the rate of recovery from the surgeries.

Manning has been thought of as one of the best quarterbacks ever to play in the NFL. His intelligence and ability to read opposing defenses has led Indy to more complex offenses, the ability to adapt to different teams, and to be at least evenly matched against any other team in the league. They are the only team to really give the Bill Belichick Era Patriots fits. It looked like Indy would set a record this season for most consecutive playoff appearances before Manning had to bow out. All of this because they sucked in the late 90s and were able to get a franchise quarterback with the first pick.

Now it's happening again. Luck is the quarterback this time around who can be the next Manning. There are three teams who have yet to win this year. Indy is among them. The other two are Miami and St. Louis. St. Louis used a high draft pick two years ago for Sam Bradford, another good college QB. The problem has been, like Manning's first year, Bradford has no other options. His offensive line is atrocious and his running back is way past his prime. Bradford has been hit so often he sat out this past Sunday's game with a high ankle sprain. If your young quarterback gets pounded, he's not going to become an old quarterback.

Getting back to the Luck Question: should we as fans hope for our teams to tank for one year for the chance at future greatness? Part of me says yes. I would love to see Andrew Luck call plays for the Chiefs, who were early season contenders in the Suck for Luck contest. They have since won three in a row. I swear, every time I think that Matt Cassel should be traded, benched, or run out of town on a rail, he has a great game, or series of games, and pulls the Chiefs out of suckitude. Would I take Andrew Luck even though Cassel shows signs of greatness? Yes. Would I want my team to tank this year for the chance to be the next 2000s Colts? That's harder to answer. Like I said earlier, part of me says yes. But I also want my team to do their very best every year.

As a general manager, coach, or even owner, this question is easier to answer. No. You never tell your team to tank in order to get a star player next year. Look at the NBA right now. There might not be a "next year."

Let's look at some of the past teams who have had a franchise player land in their laps via suckage, intentional or not.

First up, Cleveland and the LeBron James Contest.  Cleveland absolutely sucked in the early 2000s. They finished the 02-03 season with a record of 17 wins and 65 losses. They finished tied with the Denver Nuggets for the worst record in the league.

Where the NFL goes by straight team standings for their draft selection, the NBA goes with a lottery system. The teams that don't make the playoffs are entered in a lottery. The NBA draws ping-pong balls with team logos out of a lottery machine to determine draft order. The worse the record, the greater the number of ping-pong balls the team has in the machine.

With their matching suckitude records, the Nuggets and the Cavaliers had equal chances to land James. Cleveland won the opportunity and snatched the high school player with the first pick. It didn't work out too well for them. Yes, Cleveland started selling out home games. They started making the playoffs (eventually). They made it to the NBA finals (but lost). Then the inevitable happened. James left. Not only did he leave, he kept the city on a yo-yo while he "tried to make up his mind." Read here: milked the publicity. James knew where he was going to go. He had known since he and Chris Bosh had played with Dwayne Wade on the 2008 Olympic team. They had all decided they wanted to play together and see how many rings they could get. Were they all going to play in a mid-market team in a depressed city like Cleveland? Were they all going to travel to the frozen north to Toronto, where Bosh was playing? Or would they travel to South Beach, Miami? A major market team in a comfortable climate in a big city. Hmmm. And everyone wound up playing for the Heat.

A player as savior is not a sure thing, especially in football. Early draft picks have a hard time making the transition from college stud to NFL savior. It took Manning two years to have a winning season. Colt McCoy, Sam Bradford, and Matt Leinart have yet to come to fruition. Leinart isn't even a starter, backing up Matt Schaub in Houston.

So, what do you do? Is it ethical to write off a season and try to get someone who will put butts in the seats and lead the franchise to the playoffs for nearly a decade? If you do try to win games and fight and claw your way up to the middle of the pack in the NFL, then what? You don't make the playoffs, and you're in the middle for the draft. Chances are, you don't get a big college savior, and you're doing what you've been doing for the last however many years; drafting to fill the needs you have and just hoping you find a diamond in the rough.

That is unless you're Bill Belichick. The guy is a genius when it comes to finding draft picks that pan out. You know Tom Brady? Superstud at the pro level? Setting records for most games without throwing a pick? Until recently had never thrown an interception in the red zone? That Tom Brady? Yeah, 199th pick in the 2000 draft. Sixth round. There was no risk in taking him at that point. Why not? Getting into those late round picks, you're getting kickers, punters, and a special teamer or two. Well, here's a quarterback who our quarterbacks coach says looks pretty good. Eh, whadaya gonna do? If he doesn't pan out, we cut him with the other late round picks. It took Brady two years to get into the starting role. It took an injury that caused internal bleeding to then starter Drew Bledsoe, but he got there. Three Super Bowl champion rings later, he's still one of the top tier quarterbacks, if not the top QB in the NFL. The Patriots didn't suck the year before in order to draft their quarterback of the future. They didn't need to.

I'll admit it. When Chiefs running back Jamaal Charles went down with a season ending injury in the second week of the season, joining tight end Tony Moeaki on the injured-reserve list, I started thinking "hey, maybe we can lose all of them this year and get Luck." I had that thought. I'm betting Dolphins fans are having that thought. I'm betting Rams fans are having that thought. I'm wondering if Colts fans are having that thought. The Dolphins and Rams have long term woes. Luck, even if he turns into the next coming of Peyton Manning, won't be able to right those ships. But neither was Manning. The Colts, I don't know. If they wind up going oh-fer, do they take Luck, knowing that Manning might be back next year? Do they expect Manning to train his replacement? Will Indy wind up with a Favre-o-rama in a couple of years with a current quarterback hanging on too long while they have the next great one in the wings?

And what if Luck is the next coming of Ryan Leaf? What if the real genius of the Stanford offense was really Jim Harbaugh, now the head coach for the 49ers? There are too many variables. If one of the oh-fer teams right now winds up that way, and joins the 2008 Detroit Lions with the record for suckitude, and drafts Luck, will this season be seen as a blessing in disguise? Or will it be a taste of things to come?

The Sheer Joy of Sport

How awesome is it to be a sports fan who doesn't live in Indianapolis or Miami right now? For the love of pure sport, it is a great time.

The Detroit Lions are 5-0 heading into a matchup against the San Francisco 49ers who are 4-1. Detroit is 5-0 for the first time since Dwight D. Eisenhower was in office (1956 for those of you playing the home game). The last time they had been 4-0 was before Reagan was elected to office (1980).

We are enjoying some record setting passing numbers. Some sportswriters (Bill Simmons) think it is because of rules changes to prevent concussions. If you can't ram a receiver's head up into the fourth row of the stands, then you can't effectively cover them. Other sportswriters (Gregg Easterbrook) link the "passing stat-o-rama" to the fact that the NFL had a lockout during the off season and canceled training camps. Secondaries, especially those with new coaches or new free agents/draft picks/trades, didn't have training camp to gel. These guys don't know each other as well as secondaries in the past. We're seeing blown coverages, not guys pulling back from coverage because they don't want to be fined for knocking Chad Ochocinco into next Tuesday.

Fines never really worked in the first place. A linebacker would lay a slobber-knocker on a defenseless receiver and then empty his own pockets and with the pocket change he found pay his fine. Fining multimillionaires $25,000 for helmet to helmet hits is asinine. Fine them a few million and put it toward helmet design research to protect against concussions, then make the new helmets mandatory. Better yet, show that the NFL really cares and take all the fine money and invest it in revitalization projects for inner cities for the communities in which the NFL has teams. Put it to education. Put it to "high risk" kids.

After the final night of the regular season, the single greatest night in baseball history, the MLB has not disappointed. Three of the four first round match ups went the distance, going to five games each. The heavily favored teams, Philadelphia in the NL and the Yankees in the AL were knocked out. Who says there is not parity in baseball? We are guaranteed to have the fourth different World Series champ in as many years. Philly won in 2008, Yankees in 2009, Giants in 2010. None of these teams are left in the playoffs. Who won in 2007, how far back can we go before we get to someone who might have two wins. 2007..Red Sox? Yeah, Red Sox. 2006 Cardinals. Okay, the Cardinals are still in it. If they survive the Brewers (and given that the Brew Crew has woken up Albert Pujols, arguably one of the top 25 ballplayers ever..EVER..E.V.E.R, I'd say the Cards have a good chance.

Seriously, who is going to tweet something calling the greatest player on the other team "Alberta?" Did you ever see what Michael Jordan would do to teams who said something against him? Or just New York in general? A fan trash talks Jordan. He drops 50 on the home team. Jeff Van Gundy claims that Jordan exploited friendships on the court. MJ drops 55 in Madison Square Garden. Nyjer Morgan, an outfielder on the Brewers, tweets and calls Albert "Alberta?" Hey, how ya doin? Oh, and I just tied the record for extra base hits in a playoff game. And we just beat you 12-3. In your house. Seriously, why the hell would you tweet that? Are you mental? The Cardinals stole one at your house. They are now the favorites in the NLDS. Congratulations on that tweet, genius.

But you don't have to look to post season baseball or the multimillionaires in the NFL if you want to watch great athletes. Go down to your local high school and pick up a fall sports schedule. Pay your five bucks and go to a volleyball game, or soccer, or football. You will see as good of plays there as you will in the pros. You may not know everyone by name, but it will be entertaining. I've been sportswriting for a local news paper and covering girls volleyball for two towns in our area. There is an outside hitter on a team I regularly cover who hits as hard as I've ever seen. I played a bit on men's club. I was a middle hitter. I love blocking, it is my favorite part of the game. I would not want to be across the net from her. She's going to continue playing at the next level. She'll go to Gonzaga or WSU, no problem.

These kids are everywhere. Go watch your local sports teams. Be supportive. Don't be one of those psycho fans who ruins it for everyone around you while you are chewing out the ref for something that happened so quickly that it was almost a coin flip as to what happened. But go down and watch some great local sports. You'll be glad you did. These kids need the support. They need someone to go out there and watch what they do. Make an evening of it, or a Saturday afternoon. If it's friggin cold, bring coffee or hot chocolate (in the case of soccer or football). If it's friggin cold, and you're watching volleyball, then you don't have anything to worry about. Have you ever been in a cold gym while an event is going on? No. These things are great to watch. Going in and watching one team develop over the span of a season is one of the greatest sporting experiences you can have. It's why we watch sports on TV. It's why we choose our favorite teams. We can invest in these players. But with high school sports, you're favorite player isn't going to get traded in the middle of the season. Granted, there are possibilities of their families moving somewhere else, but it doesn't happen often. Watch these kids develop. Invest in them. Yes, they do move on in four years or less (four year varsity players are rare), but then you get to see then next crop of talent.

You don't have to go far to realize that it is a great time to be a sports fan.

We Interrupt This Sports Blog For an Angry Rant

Angry Rant Time, folks!
Sports will resume Wednesday.

I've decided to share my angry thoughts.
First up, and this could actually be a sport of sorts, the Westboro Baptist Assholes.

Who made these stupid bigoted fuckers spokespeople for God or Christianity? Do us a favor, you yapping ass hats, strap a dynamite corset on and go blow your idiotic self up like the other religious extremists, and since you don't want to be lumped in with the terrorists (when that's exactly what you are), do it in an area where you won't hurt anyone else. Do it now. Do it all together, your whole bigoted family. It will be a new take on the family fireworks show. The fact that you picket any and every possible funeral is just a cry for attention for yourself. The fact that you use the Bible as an excuse shows that you are only into religion for the power over others. You don't have any power over anything. You are sad, pathetic, little people who are so impotent that you have to take out your frustrations on the misery of others. You are even hypocrites using iPhones to tweet that you are going to picket Steve Jobs' funeral. Then claiming that God invented the iPhone. Jobs did more to better humanity than you fuckermentalists will ever do to improve any aspect of society, at least until you die. Then society will improve, we'll have at least one less loud-mouthed, hate-spewing, self-righteous-but-really-morally-bankrupt, walking groin pull. And then we can picket your funerals. I fully intend to piss on your graves. All of them. Repeatedly. After eating nothing but asparagus for weeks. Here's your sport of sorts: Westboro Baptist Skeet Shooting. Honestly, it is only a matter of time until someone decides enough is enough and turns these Bible-sniffing fuck monkeys into a shooting range. If I had better eyesight and any sense of depth perception, I'd be on my way to Kansas right now.

Next up, greedy billionaires claiming that we are somehow in class warfare right now. Let's prove them right! Someone dust off the guillotines, light the torches, and sharpen the pitchforks. Let's storm the modern day Bastilles! Pull these rich pork fuckers out of their million dollar townhouses and execute them one by one. We can put them in the same room as the Westboro Fireworks Show and let them all go up in one big cablooey! Then we can roast pork products over the fat pork ashes. Let's get the bankers who gave themselves bonuses with our tax money. Let's get the Wall Street assholes who made money off misery. Let's get CEO and major shareholders who bemoan only having six-figure incomes after taxes (not including all the shit under the table) while their employees are skimping and deciding whether they should put food on the table or pay for little Jenny's braces so she can actually eat the food they can afford. Let's get all the politicians. I don't care if they're red, blue, or neon pink. Set them all on fire and see if it burns purple. They want to call this class warfare, let's give them class warfare. Massive overhauls for the entire government and capitalist system. Politicians claim that we shouldn't have to make the wealthiest contribute more. They say that they will do it on their own. In the first part, they are absolutely correct. We shouldn't have to. The problem is that in the second part they are wrong. They won't do it on their own. Exhibit A: Enron, the greedy fuckers who fucked clients, and then their own employees and investors. Exhibit B: Bernie Madoff. Let's hang him by his own shriveled scrotum from the flagpole of his Park Avenue penthouse where he's "serving his sentence." What bullshit. You did a bad thing, Bernie, go to your two story multi-million dollar (bought with someone else's money, of course) room and think about what you did. This is a punishment? Let's get a bunch of the Mexican  drug lords and let them gang bang him with their shotguns. All at once. Let's put it on pay-per-view. Stimulate the economy a bit.

Next up (and this actually ties into the execution of clueless billionaires) pro sports team owners who claim that they can't make money with their current collective bargaining agreements.

"If you can't manage a pro team at a modest profit in the United States of America in the early years of the 21st century, you shouldn't be allowed to vote or operate a motor vehicle. You shouldn't be allowed near the stove." -Jeff MacGregor


You essentially have monopolies on pro sports entertainment. The cities in which you have teams pay for your multi-million, possibly billion, dollar stadiums. You charge $14 for a urine-sample-sized cup of beer. You charge $3 for a hot dog that we could go to the supermarket and buy in a pack of ten..for $1.49. You charge more and more for seats where you need binoculars to see what the players look like. And you complain that you're losing money? You are obviously too stupid to own a sports team. Or, you know, have a pet. Don't breed. Dear God, don't reproduce. Your offspring might be so stupid that they pay $100 million for a player who hasn't even stepped on a U.S. hardwood court (lookin at you, Timberwolves). For the love of God, don't look t us to bail your stupid asses out after you sign a player for a ridiculous contract and he blows out a knee before his rookie season even starts ('sup, Portland?). If you want to limit player salaries, here's a solution. OFFER THEM LESS MONEY! If you all do it, then they have to take someone's offer. "But, but, but then whoever is willing to offer them a ton of money will get all the talent." Yeah, how'd that work out for Miami last season. Or Portland in the late 90s? Hmmmm, nope, no rings.  It.Doesn't.Matter. Look at the Yankees of the last decade. Number one, they pay their players a lot and they have choked on a lot of pitchers who didn't pan out, but still got their money. Yankees still make a huge profit. And still have seats for $18. Good seats. "I can see what Mariano Rivera looks like from these seats" seats. Most of Major League Baseball turns a profit. Despite having 13-14 starters (8-9 regular starters and a 5 man pitcher rotation). The Yankees pay a lot and get a lot of talent. They are contenders every year. But with all that talent, where are they today? They'll be watching the ALCS tonight...on their TVs...at home. Texas is still in it. Detroit is still in it. And how great is it that Detroit, one of the most economically depressed cities in the country is having a revitalization in its sports teams? Seriously, the Lions are going into tonight's matchup with the Bears with a 4-0 record. When was the last time the Lions were 4-0 in the regular season? Was Clinton in office? Shit, was it  BEFORE Clinton? The Tigers are playing for a shot at the World Series. Screw it, I don't care that Detroit just put my beloved Yanks out of contention. Fuckin GO TIGERS. GO LIONS. GO PISTO-oh, right they're locked out because the greedy horsefuckers who run the NBA can't run the NBA. All that aside, how cool would it be for Detroit, of all places, to win the World Series AND the Superbowl? I think I'll order a Verlander Jersey. And a retro Barry Sanders jersey. I'm a Detroit fan now.


Hmm, talking of sports seems to have calmed the ranting beast. That's a nice effect. I feel better now. I think I'll go out and do some skeet shooting. Crap, don't own a gun. Left 4 Dead 2 it is. And then some NCAA on XBox

The Irrationality of Sport

Tonight ESPN is showing a documentary on Steve Bartman. If you don't know who Bartman is, you live nowhere near Chicago. Steve Bartman didn't play sports at all. He was a fan in the stands. He was in the stands at Wrigley Stadium in 2003. There was a foul ball to left field. Bartman sitting in the front row in the right field stands. Like everyone when there is a foul ball going into the stands, Bartman reached for it. Moises Alou had a bead on it and thought like he could have caught it. Looking at all the replay and the replay of the replay and the replay of the replay of the replay and the angle and that angle and this angle, you can't tell if Alou is reaching into the stands or if Bartman is reaching into the field of play. Looking at aaaall the replays, he's not nearly the only guy who reaches for the ball.

It doesn't matter.

Irrationally it is Bartman's fault. That's the way that sports work. It isn't the fact that the Cubs then went through one of the most famous meltdowns in a single game in the postseason history. Up the that fateful foul ball, the Cubs were up 3-0 with momentum. Then Bartman. Then sure handed Alex Gonzalez, who led the league in fielding during the regular season, bobbled a perfect double play ball. The pitching then dropped off. By the end of the inning, the Florida Marlins were up 8-3. It wasn't a simple little collapse on the field. It was a disaster. It didn't even matter that there was a game 7 the next night.

Cubs fans started abusing Bartman. They started yelling at him. Threatening him. Then people started throwing beer. Throwing anything, everything.

The vitriol with which the fans treated Bartman is amazing. I can understand that it was the closest the Cubs could have been to going to or winning the World Series. Alex Gonzalez should thank Bartman for all time. It was Gonzalez who bobbled the ball that would have ended the inning. It was that play that truly started the unraveling. After the reaction of the Cubs fans turning on this poor guy, they should be ashamed of themselves. To a point, some of them are. Mike Wilbon, famous for being on ESPN and half of the PTI star team on the network has said that he feels bad about not feeling bad. In the day afterward, Wilbon has admitted to hating Bartman. Now, however, he doesn't. Now he feels bad for not feeling bad. Watching some of the interviews with some of the fans that were at that game, it doesn't seem like they feel bad for Bartman. I mean, a few of them who were sitting near him did feel bad for him. They got to see the effects of their fellow man. They also felt some of the effects. Cubs fans, like the team they root for, aren't the most accurate with their throwing.

Bartman became yet another part of sports that has nothing to do with sports that has everything to do with sports. Sports are notoriously superstitious. That is why Michael Jordan wore his North Carolina uniform under his Bulls uniform every game. That is why Nomar Garciaparra went through his ritual with his batting gloves between not just every at bat, but between every pitch.

Bartman is not why Chicago now has a new curse. Cubs fans earned the bad karma for a new curse. The Cubs will not win a World Series any time soon. The curse, now, is on the fans. Since that night, the Cubs have won the NL Central twice, in 2007 and 2008. They were swept in three games in the first round of the 2007 postseason by the Diamondbacks. They had the best record in the NL in 2008. They choked in the playoffs. They went in with the best record in the NL and were swept in the first round by the Dodgers.

The Cubs have not won a postseason game since the fans' reactions and treatment of Bartman. Their punishment is to root for the Cubs in futility for the rest of their lives. Again, nothing that has to do with baseball that has everything to do with baseball.

The Greatest Night In Regular Season Baseball History

"I'm going to vomit and I don't have a dog in the fight!" Stuart Scott's reaction to tonight in baseball.

At the beginning of September, the Braves had a 8.5 game lead over the St. Louis Cardinals.  At the beginning of September, the Red Sox had a 9 game lead over the Tampa Bay Rays.  Going into tonight every lead was gone.  Each league came into the final game of the season with a tie for the wild card.

There were four games that would determine the post season.  The Braves were playing the Phillies, the best team in the NL, in Atlanta. St. Louis was playing the worst team in the NL, Houston, in Houston.  The Cardinals were the first team to finish their game, handling the Astros 8-0 and being the only game that wasn't determined in the 9th inning or later.  The Cardinals got to sit back and watch the Braves game to see if they'd have a one game playoff or if they'd take the wild card outright.

The Braves fought against the Phillies, taking a tie into extra innings.  Bloop hits and aggressive running powered Philadelphia past the Braves in the 13th inning.  The Braves still had a chance.  They were the home team, they could respond with one run and take it to the 14th. Chipper Jones struck out swinging at a low LOOOOOW ball.  After Uggla walked, Freeman comes to the plate.  The tying  run is on first; the go-ahead is at bat. Freeman hits a hard grounder to first base. Instead of stepping on first, Ryan Howard throws to Jimmy Rollins, who steps on second then throws the ball back to Howard.  Game ending double play. 8.5 game lead. Gone. Playoff hopes. Dashed. Cardinals, all but out on September first, wild card team.

Things are even more insane in the American League.  Again, Boston comes in with a 9 game lead over Tampa Bay.  After going 8-19 through September, Boston drops to a tie with the Rays.  Boston is playing lowly Baltimore in Baltimore.  For those of you who have never been to an AL East ball game on the east coast, late season games against Boston and New York in Baltimore are essentially home games for Boston and New York.  Baltimore is close enough to both cities that fans from the more successful franchises make the trip.  Baltimore is almost always eliminated from contention by September, so Orioles fans don't go to the ballpark.  Boston invaded Baltimore tonight.  The chants loud enough to reach the announcers and get on television were encouraging the Red Sox to victory, not the Orioles.

Boston jumps out to a one run lead with a home run. Baltimore catches up. Boston goes ahead on a balk with a man on third. Baltimore catches up. Boston scores again. Mother nature intervenes in the bottom of the seventh inning. Rain Delay.

While all that is happening, the Yankees are putting the hurt on Tampa Bay.  Home runs, a grand slam, and the Yankees are up 7-0 going into the eighth inning. Things are looking awful for the Rays. They fought back from a deep hole. Boston's lead was just too much.

Back to Boston-Baltimore.  Hmm, still raining.

Back to Tampa Bay. What the-How are they only down 7-6 going into the ninth?? The Yankees have been playing garbage time since the fifth inning.  Who the heck are these guys? Well, there's Posada, who has played catcher all of one game all season.  There's Swisher, he's a sometime starter. Nunez plays when Jeter, Cano, or Rodriguez are hurt. Who the heck is Laird? Seriously? No Yankee pitcher pitched more than two innings? They've used like 11 pitchers? Are they playing Beer League Softball??

Okay, Yankees still have a 7-6 lead, bottom of the ninth, two outs. Huh, home run. 7-7 tie.

Back to Boston-Baltimore. The rain has stopped, here we go. Boston handles Baltimore in the seventh.  Ohhh here comes Scutaro from first, they're going to take the lead. DID YOU SEE THAT THROW?? Ahem-Reimold caught the ball off the bounce and made a perfect throw to home to get Scutaro trying to score. Runner on second, foul out to the catcher. End of the top of the inning. Baltimore is up.

Ground out-fly out-fly out. Okay, Baltimore, way to make them sweat.

Lead-off hitter, Jacob Ellsbury gets on base with an error. Oh, he just stole second. Now the insurance run is in scoring position with no outs.  Not looking good for Baltimore or Tampa Bay. Next batter, Dustin Pedroia singles. Now the insurance runner is 127 feet from the plate. Good for you Baltimore, you made them sweat, you played a good game. Same for you, Tampa Bay, you had a good season. O-okay, Ortiz just hit into a fielder's choice with an out at second. Runners at the corners for the Sox.  One out. Okay, they're walking the next runner to load the bases. Lavarnaway up. Who is this guy? Oh, he's the third catcher. They brought him up this week when the other two catchers were injured. He hit two home runs the other night. And they loaded the bases and are pitching to him. DOUBLE PLAY SHORT TO SECOND TO FIRST HOW AWESOME IS-Ahem, that would be a 6-4-3 double play. Baltimore gets into the bottom of the ninth down by one.

Back to Tampa. Still tied? Still tied. Back to Baltimore.

Baltimore is up, bottom of the ninth. Sox bring in Papelbon, their closer. As a Yankee fan, I'm familiar with this guy. He's the Sox version of Mariano. He comes in to save. You don't hit Papelbon. Boston is 77-0 when leading going into the 8th. Well, Baltimore, it's been a good game, way to fight back. Strike-out. Strike-out. Well, Tampa, you've got to win against the Yankees to force a one game playo-a double? Of Papelbon? Tying run is on second? Wait a minute, let's not go back to Tampa quite yet. They just put in a speedster as a pinch runner. This could be interesting, but they have to hit Papelbon again. Oh, that looks like it's going to be caught in the field, well good ga-IT'S IN THE GAP HOLY CRAP IT-Ahem, ground rule double to the gap in deep right. We have a tie game. We're going to extra innings! No, no we're not. Next batter hits to left field, he's got a bead on it. IT'S UNDER THE GLOVE HE DIDN'T CATCH IT! REIMOLD, THE GUY WHO GUNNED OUT THE INSURANCE RUN IS GOING TO SCORE! Ahem, screw it. BALTIMORE WINS BALTIMORE WINS BALTIMORE WINS TWO OUTS IN THE BOTTOM OF THE NINTH.

Okay, back to Tampa. If the Yankees hold on, then there is a one game playoff between Tampa Bay and Boston. If Tampa comes out ahead, they put the Sox away. 3 minutes after we switch over to the game. 3 minutes after Reimold touches home plate. Longoria gets a hit it is a deep ball. That looks foul. That looks like it's going to hit the wall. IT'S OVER THE WALL!! ITS FAIR!! TAMPA WINS AND IS THE WILD CARD! Seriously, it took 180 seconds for this collapse from the beginning of September to tonight. 180 seconds between one man in Baltimore touches home plate to one man hitting a ball out in Tampa.

Tonight was the greatest night of regular season baseball of all time. Period.

Baseball, Statistics, Records, and Questions of Conscience

Hello, dear Reader.  I am in Seattle. The Yankees are in Seattle.  This is not coincidence.

Mariano Rivera, arguably the greatest closer in Major League Baseball, sits at 599 all-time saves.  He already has the record for saves in the postseason. 

Right now, the Yankees are beating the snot-wads out of the Mariners, on Free Ichiro T-shirt night.  My Free Ichiro T-shirt lies folded on the floor next to the bag of other shirts bought at/before the game.  If you have read any of my blogs before, then you know I am a Yankees fan.  However, tonight, I am not happy at the Yankee victory.  Why am I not happy at the victory?

The Yankees play Seattle tonight, tomorrow, and Wednesday.  I really only feasibly get to see the Yankees when they come to Seattle, and not often at that.  In fact, tonight was my first Yankees/Mariners game ever.  Don't get me wrong, I wanted a victory for the Yankees.  I just didn't want a 9-3 victory for the Yankees.

Again, Mariano Rivera sits at 599 saves.  The all-time saves record is Trevor Hoffman's at 601.  Do the math, I'll wait....Yeah.  If the Yankees had beaten the Mariners in three close games (fewer than three runs difference), then Mariano Rivera would have pitched in all three games, for just the ninth inning each time.  Those three innings, assuming Mo didn't have a blown save (of which he has five this season in 45 opportunities), then tonight I would have witnessed 600.  Tomorrow 601, and Wednesday 602.  I would have seen the second man to make 600 saves in history, the second man to make 601 saves in history, and the first man to make 602 saves in history.  I have no doubt that Mariano will break the all time saves record this season.  But now, I won't be there to see it.  I hope to see 600, meaning I hope to see a) the Yankees win, and b) the Yankees win small.

Tonight was the best scenario to see Yankee small ball.  The Mariners had their ace, Felix Hernendez, on the mound.  Felix had beaten the Yankees five of the last six times he faced them.  Even the one of those six was a no-decision, not a loss.  The Yankees were sending Phil Hughes, who has been shaky all year after having a great 2010.  If Felix continued to be the Yankee killer and Hughes continued to struggle with his velocity, then it would be a close game...possibly even a Yankee loss.

Through four, it was a close game.  At the bottom of the fourth inning it was tied up at 1.  I'm thrilled.  It is a good ball game, each pitcher is doing well.  Hernendez struck out the side in the first inning.  The only hiccup in my plan was when I looked at the scoreboard after a first inning Hughes pitch...93 MPH...shit.  Hughes wasn't struggling with his velocity.  He was throwing strikes and making the Mariners swing and pop up.  He was getting outs.  It's okay.  It's still 1-1.

Then the Yankees batted in the fifth.  And batted, and batted, DUCK!!! IT'S A MARK TEXIERA HOMER!  DUCK IT'S A DICKERSON HOMER!!  Wait, a Dickerson homer???  How often has that happened....oh, cool, I just witnessed Chris Dickerson's first career homer.  By the end of the fifth, there was no longer a save opportunity unless the Mariners staged a remarkable comeback.

Hughes continued to stifle the M's hitters.  Granderson, Jeter, Cano, and the rest continued to make catches and get outs.  The M's didn't stage their remarkable comeback.  They didn't get to within three runs of the Yankees.  They didn't close to within five runs of the Yankees.  Rivera would not be making an appearance.  I wouldn't see 600 tonight.  I wouldn't be present for 602.

Here's the conflict.  I wanted the Yankees to win.  They did.  For once, I didn't want them to put the game out of reach early.  I didn't want to see an old-fashioned curb stomping.  Usually I love a good route.  One of my favorite games of all time was Jordan's Bulls holding Utah to a record low in points while having every Bull who dressed score.  I didn't want the route.  I was disappointed with the win.

How can I be disappointed with the win?  I saw my favorite team play.  I saw Derek Jeter's fielding.  I witnessed evidence that makes me further recall an earlier post in which I called for Jeter's retirement.  I ate crow all over again as The Captain made a bunch of great plays (one outrunning Ichiro...Ichiro! to second).  He fielded a fly ball while running out into left field when it looked certain that it would drop for a base hit.  He made an athletic move to his left to snag a ball destined for a centerfield base hit.  I witnessed future hall of famer greatness again for the first time since 2007 when I saw Jeter play in The Bronx.

I saw a Texiera home run.  I saw the first Chris Dickerson homer.  I witnessed a Yankee victory that put them up four games over the cursed Red Sox, putting the Sox closer to third (the Rays only trail Boston by three games) than first.  There are only 16 games left in the season.  If the Yankees win five and the Red Sox lose four, the Yankees take the division.  If the Yankees win nine more games, they win the division no matter what Boston does.  Why am I not happy?

The only reason that I am not happy is because I didn't get to see my favorite current Yankee play.  I won't be present to see him make history.

But I found myself somehow rooting against my team.  The team that I had never rooted against before in my life.  That, dear Reader, is what doesn't make me happy.

BCS and the Ruination of the Conferences

Okay, so I only got a couple of my NFL previews out before the season started.  You are entitled to your money back.

Yay, football is back, even if it hasn't yet returned to Kansas City after their drumming at the hands of the Buffalo Bills. 

What I would like to talk to you tonight, dear reader, is the landscape of college football.  I am no fan of the BSC system.  It is amusing, to be sure.  It was supposedly designed to calm the debate over who is the "true" national champion.  In that, it might be a little bit better than the popularity contest that it replaced.  However, it is in the process of now destroying conferences in the NCAA.

This past summer we watched a whole lot of teams changing conferences.  Oklahoma and Texas eyed joining the Pac 10 (now the Pac 12), even though both schools are thousands of miles away from the Pacific Ocean.  Colorado did join the Pac 12, as did Utah.  BYU told the WAC to piss off and went independant.  Boise State also left the WAC for the Mountain West to try to get into a better conference in order to play Texas Christian, so that they wouldn't really be at the Kiddie Table Bowl.  TCU subsequently announced that they are leaving the Mountain West to join the Big East to get an automatic bowl bid and consideration for a national championship.  Now, Texas A & M is trying to leave the 10 team Big 12 for the South Eastern Conference, but is being threatened with lawsuit by Baylor to make sure that Oklahoma does stay in the Big 12.  Got all that?  No?  Good, cause there's more.  Nebraska left the 10 member Big 12 for the 12 member Big 10.

K, put away the maps and the markers, because that's all for the geography lesson.  The problems with these moves is that they are motivated in trying to get to a stronger conference instead of making a current conference stronger.  Everyone wants to go to the SEC because in terms of strength of schedule, the SEC is Goliath among Davids.  The last five National Champions, Auburn, Alabama, LSU (twice) and Florida are SEC teams.  It is a tough conference in which to win, but if you can, then you can beat anyone.

The problem with this is that teams from conferences that already have automatic bowl bids (Big 10, Big 12) are jumping ship to get harder schedules to be considered for the national championship.  Successful conferences are getting stripped down.  Baylor is trying to keep Oklahoma in the conference because if Oklahoma goes, and Texas is pretty much already going, and Texas A&M goes, then the conference will basically be the Kansas teams, Baylor, Texas Tech, Iowa State, Missouri, and Oklahoma State.  OSU and Missouri are perennially ranked in the top 25, as is K State.  However, none of these teams stays in the top 10 very long.  This is an automatic bid conference!  Whoever takes it, plays in a fairly major bowl.  That means money for the school who plays in the bowl.  However, if it becomes a minor conference, or is thought of as somehow lesser, then less people tune in and they don't get as much money!  Follow the bouncing dollar in college football.

Boise State is kind of screwed.  They just made a lateral move from one non-BCS conference to another one.  One question-why-is easily answered.  Boise State wanted to move out of the WAC where Hawaii and recently Nevada (chortle, how's them field goals comin along, Broncos?) were the only competition on the regular season schedule.  Hawaii and Nevada are never ranked very high in the top 25 if they are ranked at all.  So BSU jumps over to the Mountain West to try to start a rivalry with Texas Christian, the team they've been facing a lot in the post season because neither has an automatic bid from a BCS conference, but both are usually undefeated.  Welcome to the aforementioned Kiddie Table Bowl.  TCU is jumping to the Big East.  Once again Boise State will be a big time program in an itty bitty little conference.  Why didn't Boise State jump to an automatic bid conference like TCU will do in 2012?  The answer has little to do with football.  TCU has a higher academic standard than BSU.  You don't exactly have to burn through the ACTs to get into BSU.  TCU (and just about any major university in the big conferences) has a little more stringent guidelines and acceptance rules.  BSU can't get into any of the major conferences.  Until they make it more difficult to get into BSU (which isn't really likely to happen anytime soon, since Idaho and Idaho State already are pickier on who gets to be an incoming freshman), they will always be a piranha in a fishbowl, chewing up the kibble that floats down.

I know that people have been pushing for a playoff.  Just think of that for a minute.  A playoff system in college football.  March Madness in December/January.  Brackets for Christmas.  The minor bowls that are already played early in the post season can just be first round games.  We already have late bowl game meaning more anyway.  Why not go to a playoff?  We could even keep all the bowls!  Including the Still Looking for a Corporate Sponsor to Pony Up the Money Bowl!  Some people are calling for an 8 team playoff.  That would be 4 bowls, then 2 bowls, then 1 bowl.  7 Bowls.  That would suck and not allow us to keep all the bowls.  A 16 team playoff would be 8 bowls, 4, 2, 1, for 15 bowls.  Better, closer to the number we have now.  I propose we go the full shitangi!  We take March Madness and go whole hog.  64 teams (not this half-assed expansion of this year).  That is 32, 16, 8, 4, 2, 1 bowls...let's see...carry the...2...OH HELL YES!  63 bowls!!!  Each with a corporate sponsor dumping millions.  Each with television coverage and commercial deals.  Each with free advertising for the playing schools!  WHY HAVE WE NOT DONE THIS YET???  Is it because of the issue of the end of the semester/finals/beginning of the next semester?  Football players don't go to class or take finals....ask Miami.

Predictions PT 2. AFC West After a Brief Stop in Pullman

Football is almost upon us.  I love this time of year.  The Washington State University commercials have been bragging about their fans and waving the Cougar flag all over the world.  When your football commercials focus on your fans rather than your team, you have problems with your football team.  WSU may have great fans and a great tradition with its flag, but right now the football team is not doing well.  I have them picked to finish last in their division of the Pac 12.

They have chosen Idaho State as their "warm up" first game of the year.  For such a small school, do you know how many NFL players have come out of ISU?  Anyone know the name Jared Allen?  Drafted by the Chiefs, traded to the Vikings, NFL sack machine including leading the league in 2007 with 15.5.  Graduate of Idaho State.  Just because ISU is a small school from the FCS (Football Championship Subdivision, formerly Division II) doesn't mean WSU is guaranteed to win.  Ask Michigan how that idea to play Appalachian State worked out for them.  The Wolverines dropped out of the top 25 so fast there probably should have been a sonic boom.  I'll go so far as to predict an Idaho State upset.  You can make fun of this idea all you want, but I'll stand by it.  ISU will at least put up a fight against the Cougars.  I think they'll win.

On to the Pros and the AFC West.

I am a Kansas City fan.  I love the Chiefs.  But I don't see them defending their division crown.  Between the up and coming Raiders, who swept all six division games last year, and the usual division juggernaut Chargers, I don't think the Chiefs will be able to hold up.  Last year, they only beat two teams that had records above 500.  Every year that the Chiefs have had strong records, they had a weak schedule.  Then, when they've gotten into the playoffs, they've been easily put out in the first round, usually playing at Arrowhead.  In the 90s, Arrowhead was feared.  It is still one of the loudest stadiums.  But the team that plays there is not the killer defense of the 90s.

Kansas City did go out and get a great college receiver, Jonathan Baldwin, to compliment Dwayne Bowe.  One of the first things Baldwin does is get in a fight with veteran running back, Thomas Jones, and injures his wrist, missing the rest of the preseason.  While it really doesn't mean a whole lot as far as the regular season, preseason games are incredibly valuable in-game experience for rookies.

Kansas city was 30th (there are only 32 teams in the NFL) in passing last year.  They were first in rushing, thanks to Charles and Jones.  The problem with being one dimensional is that good teams will figure out a way to stop the one dimension (see Lions, Detroit, 1990s). Baltimore did it against the Chiefs in the first round of the playoffs and put the Chiefs out.  The Chiefs are sitting on about $33 million in unused cap space. This is money they're sitting on.  They don't get to save it and use it next season for $33 million more to spend on players.  After this season, it's gone.  They still have a good offensive line, even with recent retirements.  The bottom line remains that they need to do more with the passing game.  Cassel is going to have to continue to develop and become a top tier quarterback.  Otherwise the Chiefs will be the same Chiefs we saw in the mid 2000s, a running game with a afterthought aerial attack.  If they get to the playoffs with the current offensive scheme, they'll get put out in the first round, just like every other playoff game since Joe Montana guided them to the AFC Championship against Buffalo in 1993.

Prediction time:  The division is starting to get some teeth after being Chargers and the other guys for so many years.  I'm going to go out on a limb and pick the Raiders to take the division, though.  It'll be Raiders, Chargers, Chiefs, Broncos, in that order.  The Broncos will be the only team with a losing record.

Raiders:  These guys will go 10-6.  They had the everyone else's number in the division last year, going 6-0.  Their only trouble was that they went 2-8 against the rest of their opponents.  This year the AFC West plays the NFC North quite heavily.  That means the defending champs, Green Bay, and the playoff team, Chicago will be tough match ups for everyone in this division.  Throw in contests with the AFC East (especially the Jets and the always strong Patriots), this will be a tough season again.

Chargers:  They'll go 9-7.  They aren't the dominant force they once were.  Last year saw them lose to divisional foes surprisingly often.  They're still a good team, but they need healthy running backs.  They led the league in offense and defense last year, but still lost games.  Their special teams could have been cut into a montage with "Benny Hill" playing in the background (in fact, I'm relatively sure this can be found on Youtube somewhere).  But special teams alone won't produce a season like San Diego had last year.  They'll bounce back.

Chiefs:  Oh, my beloved Kansas City, you'll go 8-8.  Oakland's improvement and San Diego's recovery will cost you games from last year.  Having the schedule of ultimate suckiness will mean you'll have a dry spell in the early second half of the season.  (New England, Pittsburgh, Chicago, the Jets, Green Bay, and Oakland weeks 11-16).  If that isn't the toughest six week run of any team in the NFL, then I have no business writing a sports blog.  Their lone consolation is that they follow that with a week 17 visit to Denver.  Although I'm not sure how much fun playing in Denver on New Year's Day really is.  Yeah, the Chiefs will do well in the opening part of the season.  I think they'll go undefeated until they hit Indy (and even that depends on how well Peyton recovers from surgery) in week 5.

Broncos:  Oh, Denver.  Poor, poor Denver.  Denver actually has the toughest division schedule out of the AFC West.  Mainly because everyone else gets to play the Broncos twice.  Seriously, the schedule rankings have a 10 percentage point spread between the above teams and the Broncos.  Poor Denver is going to go 3-13 this season.  They haven't figured out what the heck they're doing at QB.  They haven't really replaced Brandon Marshall.  The last time they had a decent running back, it was because Shanahan's offensive line and blocking scheme could get your grandmother a 1000 yard rushing season.  That line is gone.  Shanahan is gone.  The running game...is gone.

There's predictions part two in the books.  Make fun of me at the end of the season for actually predicting that the Raiders are the AFC West team to beat.  If reactions from part one predictions are any indication, some of you won't wait until season's end (or even beginning) to start pulling apart these.

Barry Bonds, Michael Jordan, Roger Clemens, Mark McGwire, Alex Rodriguez, Andy Pettitte

Barry Bonds, Michael Jordan, Roger Clemens, Mark McGwire, Alex Rodriguez, Andy Pettitte.

Is that a tag line for greatness or what?  Look at those guys.  The all-time home runs and walks leader (among other records), the greatest pro-basketball player ever, the pitcher with the most Cy Youngs, the savior of baseball after the 94-95 strike, the highest paid player in the MLB and youngest member of the 600 HR club, world series winning pitcher.  Just look at them.

Now, look at them and pick out which one you despise the most.  Is it Barry?  Is it because all his records "should have an asterisk?"  Is it A-Rod for signing the most lucrative salary of any MLB player, ever?  Is it MJ because he got all those calls, all those whistles, but you really know he got them because of who he is rather than there ever being a foul?

Did you know that it took nearly half a decade for Michael Jordan to fall out of the most popular athlete spot according to ESPN?  Why is that?  Is it because he was the greatest basketball player that ever lived?  What about Bonds?  He is the greatest home run hitter in a game obsessed with the long ball.  Just look at those two for a minute.  Think about their interviews while they were still playing.  Michael and his well-spokenness.  His graciousness in dealing with the media during and after his career (all three times).  Do you remember any of his scandals?  Do you remember his gambling problems in the early 90s?  How about the woman who extorted him claiming that she was his mistress?  What about his demand to keep Isaiah Thomas off of the original Dream Team and that Scottie Pippen instead be named?

What about the other hated guy?  Alex Rodriguez was reviled by most of the fan world because of his defection from Seattle for a huge payday.  He was reviled when he later signed with the most reviled team in sports, the New York Yankees.  He was chewed up, spit out, picked up and thrown back down by the New York media.  And then he came out of his post season slump and got his World Series ring.  All was forgiven in New York, the Yankees had #27.  He did steroids?  He has an illegal poker night?  Who really cares?

Now, what about Bonds?  This is a guy who blew off the media.  This is a guy who walked past autograph seekers, his adoring public.  This is a guy who angered his teammates, coaches, general managers, and team owners.  This is also the man who was on the verge of tears as he thanked baseball, the fans, even the other team, and especially his deceased father when he broke Hank Aaron's record.  This is the man who scooped up his young son at home plate when Barry broke Mark McGwire's single season record and gave him a hug and a kiss on national television.  This is also the man who never had a positive steroid test.

Consider this:  Bonds broke Mark McGwire's home run record.  McGwire has since come out as saying he took steroids as early as his years with the Oakland A's.  That's okay, Mark.  You're honest.  Thanks for coming clean.  By the way, no one brought up the asterisk for his accomplishments.  Roger Clemens was just tried and mis-tried for perjury stemming from the steroids scandal.  He still wasn't raked over the coals that Bonds has been pulled through.  Same with Alex Rodriguez.  Same with Andy Pettitte.

Now, note the list of players.  The last four players named; Clemens, McGwire, Rodriguez, and Pettitte.  They're all white or close enough to it (light enough skinned).  We gave them passes in the court of public opinion.  None of them faced sanctions from baseball.  None of them were fined for steroid use.  Clemens is the only one who hasn't admitted to steroid use.

But look at the other two, the first two on the list.  They're both black.  But it's okay, right?  We adore Jordan; we're not racist!  Bonds is a punk and a cheater.  Once again, Bonds never tested positive for steroids.  But Bonds is defiant.  He isn't the type of black man white people love to like.  Michael Jordan, with his endorsements, articulate speech, style, and success, is the type of black man we want to see.  We love to like him.

How dare Bonds disrespect the game like he did.  Here's a problem.  MLB was the problem.  MLB didn't test or even ban steroid use until 2003.  2003!  Italics, underline, asterisk, bold--2003.  Even if Bonds was on steroids when he broke the single season record in 2001, he didn't break any rules.  But, but, but, Scott...he sorta kinda maybe might've taken an illegal substance!  That should give him the asterisk.  If taking an illegal substance give you an asterisk, then we should probably be putting asterisks by a lot more names than that of Bonds.  Last time I checked, marijuana and cocaine are illegal substances...Well, fuck, there goes almost every record of any player who ever played any game between 1970 and now.  The other issue is Bonds' constitutional right to be innocent until proven guilty.  There is no proof.  There are no positive tests.  There is no clear proof that BALCO injected Bonds with anything illegal.

Bonds is the defiant, talented, cocky black man.  We white people can't abide that.  If he were white (Clemens fits just about that to a tee, defiant-check, talented-check, cocky-check, suspected of steroids-check) there wouldn't be talk of an asterisk at all.  Clemens doesn't have an asterisk next to the 7 Cy Youngs.  Clemens doesn't have an asterisk next to the World Series wins.

Michael Jordan is talented, cocky, and black.  But he is gracious.  He keeps his image clean.  The worst things we could say about him was he was kind of an asshole during his first-ballot-entry-to-the-hall-of-fame induction speech where he reminded us, "oh, yeah, I'm better than any of you ever will be."  But MJ is not defiant.  MJ didn't piss off, or on, the press.  MJ pissed off teammates, but he was good enough that he also made those teammates better, or they weren't on his team much longer.  MJ. is. the. type. of. black. man. we. love. to. like.  Bonds is not nor will he ever be.

And that's a dirty shame because he's the greatest home run hitter that ever lived.

NFL Predictions Almost Certain to be Wrong Part I

After analyzing some of the flurry of post-lockout trades (usually consisting of such genius analysis as "God, Philadelphia's trades are BRILLIANT!), and watching and reading ESPN and ESPN.com a whole lot, I feel that I am as qualified as anyone of the talking heads to make NFL predictions.  So, I will start with part one of X (X=however many of these I feel like doing before I get bored or the season starts) of my NFL Predictions Almost Certain to be Wrong.

Part one of X takes us to the NFC West.  The NFC West (Arizona, San Francisco, Seattle, and St. Louis) is the worst division in sports.  Forget worst division in football, SPORTS.  Not even the NCAA Football cellar dweller conference, The Sun Belt, had a conference (in this case division) winner with a sub-500 winning percentage.  Seattle went to the playoffs with a 7-9 record.  As a division winner.  This wasn't some league wide crappy season where a wild card squeaked in at 8-8, this was a division winner coming in two games below 500.

It ain't getting better.  Arizona and Seattle got new QB's this season and St. Louis is still the only team in the division that has one.  Seattle looks to start Tavaris Jackson, the former Viking who lost his job to the reanimated corpse of Brett Favre.  Arizona went out and got Kevin Kolb, the "Quarterback of the Future" for Philly, who lost his job to a convicted felon.  San Francisco's starter is the quarterback with the most experience but suffers from a unique condition known as Being Alex Smith (BAS).  That leaves St. Louis' second year quarterback, Sam Bradford as the one quarterback in this division.  If St. Louis would have won the final game of the season (against Seattle), this division would have sent an 8-8 winner to the playoffs instead of the laughingstock 7-9, Seattle's playoff upset of New Orleans not withstanding.

Prediction:  Bradford lead the Rams to the division crown with a 9-7 record. They start really roughly with three straight losses (they open the season against the new-look Philly, an experienced Giants team, and the defensive gods that are the Baltimore Ravens).  The second half of the season, they'll rattle off wins against the rest of the division.

Seattle will put up a good fight, but without standout quarterback, they won't do as "well" as they did last year.  Last year's quarterback, Matt Hasslebeck, is now a Titan.  The offense didn't have a rusher run for more than 600 yards.  No offense means no scoring.  None of these teams has a very good defense.  Seattle goes 5-11.

San Francisco has a new head coach.  They have the same old quarterback and an offensive weapon (Frank Gore) who can't stay healthy (4 IR trips in the last 4 seasons).  They'll put up a fight against Seattle, but so would most of the Pac-12.  They go 6-10.

Arizona has someone else's backup quarterback starting.  Matt Leinart is gone (Texans) and now they have Kevin Kolb formerly of Philadelphia.  The Cardinals have a great receiver (note the singular), a running back who must have signed an endorsement with Butterfinger, and a defense like cheese cloth.  They tried the "sign someone else's castaway" approach with running backs years ago and wound up with a washed up Emmitt Smith and an equally washed up Edgerrin James.  They're trying this strategy with quarterbacks now.  Three years ago, it paid off and Father Time Kurt Warner led them to a Super Bowl.  I wonder if they've got Favre on speed dial.  They'll go 4-12.

Write those down.  At the end of the season, you can send me e-mails and comments telling me how little I know about NFL football, I'll almost guarantee it.

When Off-Field Encroaches On-Field

Why do our best players let us down once they get off the field?  Why do our Lawrence Taylors and Daryl Strawberrys do drugs?  Why do our Derrick Thomases get their fool asses killed by driving under the influence and speeding?  Why do our Pacmans and Larry Johnsons and Ray Lewises and Vince Youngs have to get into fights/trouble at every nightclub they go to?  Why are the people who are so smart and savvy on the field so stupid off it?  Why does Alex Rodriguez have to play poker?  Wait...What?  He's in trouble for poker??  He might face a minor suspension for POKER??  He came clean on steroid use and didn't face any punishment from the league, but the guy has a high stakes poker night and he gets in trouble??  What the hell?  Can he and his friends not afford it?  For the love of Selig.

How many of us have been disappointed by a sports hero?  Of my two favorite football players of all time, one is now a registered sex offender (Lawrence Taylor) and one is dead (Derrick Thomas).  Coming out of the Steroid Era, find me a team with no players untouched by the scandal.  Here's a challenge to all our professional athletes:  What's say we go a damn week without one of you running someone over (Donte Stallworth), shooting someone including yourself (Plaxico Burress), sexually assaulting someone (Ben Roethlisberger), getting nailed with drugs (pick one), murdering someone (Rae Carruth, Eric Naposki), or getting YOURSELVES killed (Steve McNair, Darrent Williams, David Turner).  Just one week.  No one fuck up.  Play your sport, go to practice, study game film, take batting practice, sight see whatever city you're visiting, go out for some nice food at a nice restaurant, meet fans, sign autographs.  Stay out of trouble, put down the booze.  You're famous, people watch you every week.  They're going to recognize you with a Red Rider Wagon full of marijuana.

Some people would claim that it is upbringing that causes these issues.  Some would say that it is the sudden rise to fame at young ages and not being able to deal with it.  Does being good at sports mean not having common sense?  Are they inversely related?  Even an 18-year-old knows right from wrong.  It doesn't matter who you are or how much you make.  You might feel like you are invincible.  You're playing a game for a living.  You're getting paid millions.  People are worshiping you.  I get it.  But you still know that if a woman says "no" that you should not force her into a hotel room, SUV, dark alley, etc.  Be a moral human being!  You may have more money than God, but you are also in a precarious position.  You are usually guilty until proven...no, you're still guilty in the public eye.  You are targets for blackmail because you are guilty until no, you're still guilty.  Don't put yourself in the situations where you've seen others get in trouble.  There are plenty of examples of what NOT to do.  You probably have teammates who can tell you by experience what not to do.

What about the teams?  They have invested so much time and money into these players.  They've used draft choices and developed offensive and defensive schemes around these players.  They've paid millions in salaries an training.  The teams write legal and behavior clauses into contracts, but then don't fully enforce them.  Or they are so vague that no one can enforce or understand them.  The teams could help support these players moving from college to the professional level.  If they were moving into any other profession, they would have guidance.  They would have people to talk to and deal with and learn from and seek out for advice.  In professional sports, they don't have this as much.  Or, they have veteran players who are still making the same dumb choices.

Coaches and front offices make sure that players attend meetings and practices.  Why not make sure that players attend counselling for both the emotional transition and the financial transition?  If these players had help and guidance, then they perhaps, just perhaps, wouldn't wind up in jail, suspended, bankrupt, or, I don't know, DEAD.  There is not guarantee that this would keep players from messing up.  But it might just give them the tools to at least make the adjustment.

Team management must be stricter with their young players.  I know that most of these players are 22-23 years old and older.  They are legally adults.  But they've come from bad backgrounds or they've had a lot handed to them through college programs and then into the pros.  Having a strict team front office that enforces curfews and moral clauses will keep these brand new, young millionaires from making fools of themselves, more importantly from making felons of themselves.  The teams must take a more active role in their players' lives.  Does this violate their rights?  Not if it's written into the contract.  Think about the discipline of the U.S. Armed Forces.  Are new recruits' (or veterans' for that matter) rights violated by strict curfew enforcement?

I have never been a sudden millionaire.  I haven't gone from struggling college student from a poor background to a contracted millionaire.  I am on the outside looking in and watching this behavior.  I can't positively say how I'd act with newly found fame and fortune.  These guys don't want to distance themselves from old friends, no matter how bad an influence they might be.  But it isn't only the sudden fortune that causes these choices.  Go to Google.  Now, type "NFL player arrested" and see how many news stories you get.  (I just got 51 pages of 490,000 results).  Now, type in "Lottery winner arrested" and see how many.  (I just got 13,000 results).  Hmm, 2.65% as many.

Sports' Spine-Tingling Moments II: The All Blacks Haka

During a conversation last evening, I realized I had forgotten one of sports' most spine-tingling moments.  This is one I have never witnessed live, but would absolutely love to.  If you have never heard of the New Zealand All Blacks, drop what you are doing and go to YouTube.  Do it NOW, I'll wait.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTGEPW6p4M0

This is the Fiji (in white) Cibi first.  It is the challenge to their rivals dating back to the "uncivilized" tribal era.  The All Blacks Haka also dates to pre-European contact.  They are signs of respect to their rivals, but also meant to be intimidating.  The All Blacks Haka dates back to Te Raupraha, the Maori leader who defeated the British so many times before signing the Treaty of Waitangi.  These aren't just sports teams doing the Tomahawk Chop because they're called the Braves or the Chiefs.  This is a part of the old New Zealand culture.  Many of the All Blacks are of Maori descent.  The white players are New Zealanders who respect the history of their islands.  

And it works.  Since forming in 1903 (roughly the same time as the formation of the New York Yankees) The All Blacks have won 75% of their rugby matches.  75%!  Let's put that in perspective.  That would mean, if The All Blacks were a MLB team, that they would average 121 wins per season.  The most wins ever in an MLB season is 116.  If they were NFL, they'd average a 12-4 season.  NBA, they'd average 62 wins a season.  The NBA and NFL seasons sound plausible, since league leaders usually achieve these numbers.  However, The All Blacks average those marks since 1903.  No team in America's Big Three sports comes close.  The Yankees, for all their great teams since 1901, averaged a .568 winning percentage as of 2010.

Rugby doesn't have seasons, per se, as we would think of them.  Rugby has tours, instead.  The biggest tour coming every four years, the Rugby World Cup, like its more famous cousin in soccer.  The Rugby World Cup started in 1987, with the All Blacks being the first winners.  While they haven't won a World Cup since, The All Blacks do carry a unique distinction in international play.  They are the only team to have a winning record against all other teams.  Their worst winning percentage is 56.1 against South Africa.  The U.S., Tonga, Samoa, Romania, Portugal, Pacific Islanders, Japan, Italy, Fiji, and Canada have never won or drawn against The All Blacks.  Ireland, Scotland, and Argentina have never won against them (with four draws between them).  Australia has beaten the All Blacks the most, with 40 wins, and drawn with them the most with 5 draws.  This comes at the expense of 96 loses to The All Blacks (the most wins The All Blacks have against one opponent).

The All Blacks open every match with the traditional Haka.  Other teams usually respond or initiate (Fiji's Cibi), but the haka of The All Blacks is the most widely known.  Based on their lifetime record, it's also the most successful...and spine-tingling.